I feel vulnerable, but not insecure*. 

*not firmly fixed; liable to give way or break: an insecure footbridge. • able to be broken into or illicitly accessed: an insecure computer system. • (of a job or position) from which removal or expulsion is always possible: badly paid and insecure jobs | a financially insecure period. 2 (of a person) not confident or assured; uncertain and anxious:

Re: shame 
Shame shows up in our smallest decisions / if we feel we have witness, experienced or done something "wrong." 
How much is manufactured & how much is "real" (how much is unreasonable, how much is useful)

What is it?
When does it occur/when is it present?
Why do some specific things evoke shame? Is this true in any/all context(s)?
Is there anything to learn from it?
What is my relationship to it?

What does it LOOK like? How might it be observed?

• (quiet, refraining from voice \ over-explaining \ Lies, dishonestly \ Excuses \ Springing into action to address and/or eliminate source of shame \ Anxiety \ Looks like looking away \ Fidgeting)
• --------------
• It is hard to now want what I have been hopeless about. And ultimately, that is life itself.
  
  Push                                                                  /                                                                       Pull
  
  To be acutely aware of an inability to recognize oneself, and to still desire recognition. What are we without knowing?
  It is lifting up the coffin and stepping out changed in all ways but physically. It is invisible decay.
  It is [re]creation, self-birth with intention and permission. Walking out of the womb.
  
                                                             No push. No pull.
  
  It is rebuilding the muscles that have atrophied for never needing to do something hard.
  
                                                                                             What a criminal connotation is given to “surrender.”
  
                                                                                Surrender   

To lose. To be defeated. To feel the threat of having something taken from you. To the victor, your spoils.
Attached to an outcome, desire, state. Attached in every way except truly.

Freedom- to feel, see, hear, taste, touch, smell, think.

Freedom- to experience; to witness oneself as whoever shows up.

Freedom- from having to be right or understood.

Freedom- from stakes.

Freedom- from having to have anything “figured out;” from having to know.